To answer some of the questions....

We realize that our family and friends may not fully understand adoption. As I said before, neither did we when we first started this journey. There are several questions that we have already had, and ones that we know people wish to know the answers to, but are afraid to ask. Even seemingly insensitive questions are nearly always well intentioned and we understand that. Many people honestly don't realize that the questions that they are asking can come across as offensive. We know that you are curious as to the adoption process, why we chose it, what we can expect, etc. So, hopefully this site and this specific blog will help answer those questions.

"Why are you adopting internationally?" - Domestic adoptions have changed over the years and are still considered "open" adoptions...which means that the birthmother will always have rights to the child, as long as they are alive. There is a risk, even years down the road, that the birthmother will change their mind or want to be a part of the childs life. With international adoption that is not the case. Children are in orphanages and have no ties to their birth family.

"How much does it cost?" - Well, this question for me is just rude altogether because I was raised to never ask anyone about their personal finances. Because they are just that... personal. But for the sake of this blog and with the hopes that we won't hear this question again, I will answer it. It really depends on which agency that you go through and which country you choose to adopt from. Each country has their own fees. It is actually about the same cost as giving birth in a hospital if you don't have maternity coverage.

"Are you buying the child?" - No. You don't "pay" for the child. The cost of adoption is not to "buy" the baby. ALL of the costs associated with adoption pay for each step of the adoption process. Just the same as you wouldn't go to work everyday and not get paid. The people that put together our dossier, translate all of our documents from English to Russian, the officers that take our fingerprints and background checks, the lady from social services who makes sure that we are fit to be adoptive parents, the representative who travels with us to Kazakhstan to translate for us....they all have families to feed and these are their jobs. Our fees pay them to complete the steps of our adoption.

"How old will your baby be?" - Truthfully, we don't know yet. We won't know until we get to Kazakhstan. The children have to be on the local registry until they are at least 6 months before they can be adopted internationally. So we can expect between 7-12 months old. We are also applying for twins (we have not specified a gender) if they are available and healthy.

"Are you going to tell he/she that they are adopted? When?" - Yes we are. We have already started a "Baby Hanks Adoption Journey" journal that we started when we decided to adopt and we will continue until we tell him/her their story. We will tell him/her that there are two ways that God brings a baby into a family, by way of hospital in mommy's tummy or the planes, trains, and automobiles way. When we choose to tell will be up to us when we feel that it is right, I don't think that you can plan something like that this far in advance and it will be our decision as to when it is explained.

And for the biggest question of all......

"Are you guys not able to have your own?" - The biggest stigma with adoption is that it must mean that one or both are infertile. That is not the case at all. Adoption is not a "last resort" in every case for becoming parents....It is a decision that we have chosen and we can't wait to have our Baby Hanks!