For those of you who have been following our blog, you may have noticed that we are no longer adopting from Ukraine but rather Kazakhstan. We are very excited about this decision after taking the advice and suggestions from those who have taken this journey already. We cant begin to express our gratitude to those people who are supporting us and being those "shoulders" for us to lean on during this process, as you truly know what this process is like. THANK YOU!
PS: this baby to the left is NOT ours....I just thought it was a cute picture :)

This is the poem that I am painting to hang in the Baby Room...

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
but in my heart I know,

The love I feel is deep and true,
as if it had been so.
For us to have each other,
is like a dream come true!
No, I did not give you the gift of life
Life gave me the gift of you!

To answer some of the questions....

We realize that our family and friends may not fully understand adoption. As I said before, neither did we when we first started this journey. There are several questions that we have already had, and ones that we know people wish to know the answers to, but are afraid to ask. Even seemingly insensitive questions are nearly always well intentioned and we understand that. Many people honestly don't realize that the questions that they are asking can come across as offensive. We know that you are curious as to the adoption process, why we chose it, what we can expect, etc. So, hopefully this site and this specific blog will help answer those questions.

"Why are you adopting internationally?" - Domestic adoptions have changed over the years and are still considered "open" adoptions...which means that the birthmother will always have rights to the child, as long as they are alive. There is a risk, even years down the road, that the birthmother will change their mind or want to be a part of the childs life. With international adoption that is not the case. Children are in orphanages and have no ties to their birth family.

"How much does it cost?" - Well, this question for me is just rude altogether because I was raised to never ask anyone about their personal finances. Because they are just that... personal. But for the sake of this blog and with the hopes that we won't hear this question again, I will answer it. It really depends on which agency that you go through and which country you choose to adopt from. Each country has their own fees. It is actually about the same cost as giving birth in a hospital if you don't have maternity coverage.

"Are you buying the child?" - No. You don't "pay" for the child. The cost of adoption is not to "buy" the baby. ALL of the costs associated with adoption pay for each step of the adoption process. Just the same as you wouldn't go to work everyday and not get paid. The people that put together our dossier, translate all of our documents from English to Russian, the officers that take our fingerprints and background checks, the lady from social services who makes sure that we are fit to be adoptive parents, the representative who travels with us to Kazakhstan to translate for us....they all have families to feed and these are their jobs. Our fees pay them to complete the steps of our adoption.

"How old will your baby be?" - Truthfully, we don't know yet. We won't know until we get to Kazakhstan. The children have to be on the local registry until they are at least 6 months before they can be adopted internationally. So we can expect between 7-12 months old. We are also applying for twins (we have not specified a gender) if they are available and healthy.

"Are you going to tell he/she that they are adopted? When?" - Yes we are. We have already started a "Baby Hanks Adoption Journey" journal that we started when we decided to adopt and we will continue until we tell him/her their story. We will tell him/her that there are two ways that God brings a baby into a family, by way of hospital in mommy's tummy or the planes, trains, and automobiles way. When we choose to tell will be up to us when we feel that it is right, I don't think that you can plan something like that this far in advance and it will be our decision as to when it is explained.

And for the biggest question of all......

"Are you guys not able to have your own?" - The biggest stigma with adoption is that it must mean that one or both are infertile. That is not the case at all. Adoption is not a "last resort" in every case for becoming parents....It is a decision that we have chosen and we can't wait to have our Baby Hanks!

It has arrived!!!

Of course, to travel to Kazakhstan we will both need passports. J.D. has had his since high school--and after digging through every taped up moving box in our garage, we finally found it. But I still needed to apply for one. It seemed like every time I would set up an appointment or plan to get my passport something would ALWAYS come up and I would have to cancel. Well, last week I FINALLY made the appointment, showed up at the post office, sat there for an hour and a half PAST my appointment time, and applied for it!! They told me it would be sent to me in the mail between 4 and 6 weeks. I GOT IT IN ONE WEEK!! Wahoo!!

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make your one...
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up ... that's all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
the age old question unanswered throughout the years...
Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling neither.
Just two different kinds of love.

~ Author Unknown ~

Baby Hanks' Room

Since we don't know yet whether Baby Hanks will be a boy, a girl, or twins until we are actually in Ukraine and coming home with him/her/or them, we have been given the advice to spend the next few months getting the room ready so that when the whirlwind of emotions and chaos is finally here we won't have to worry about it! We have started to get things ready and we're going with the gender neutral palette of green and yellow, honeybee theme. Here are a few pictures~ We will update the pictures as we get the room finished!
*I made the multi-colored baby blanket and the two canvas paintings with the honeybee theme to match the bedding.

The Beginning....

It's official ... We are proud to share with you that we have made the decision to become parents through international adoption! If all goes as planned, we will be a family of 3 (or 4) about this time next year! We have decided to adopt from Kazakhstan!
Adoption is unfamiliar territory for some of our friends and family, as it was for us when we started, so this process might seem strange or scary to some. We have learned so much in the past few months about the process, what to expect, what not to expect, risks, rewards, etc. At this point, we feel like we could write a book!! It is very different in ways, but it is very similar in others, and of course, there are a lot of questions. It’s not always a perfect process or easy, but we do know that it will be an amazing journey full of more love than you can imagine.
Many people ask, "Why not adopt domestically?" We chose international adoption after a great deal of research. Private domestic adoptions have changed a lot in the past 10-20 years, generally becoming more open – meaning that the birthparents are often involved, or at least in occasional contact with the child for the rest of his/her life. This can work out great, but it’s certainly more of an emotional risk. You never know if or when your childs birth mother will decide to "take him/her back". We’ve spoken to many parents who have adopted from both avenues, and we have determined that international seems less risky, which is exactly why it has grown so much in popularity.